In Mexico City, getting behind the wheel is a great way to review your existence, since every road experience involves your life flashing before your eyes.

The right of way is something you take with a vengeance, not something that is ever given to you. In fact, turn signals are for decorative purposes only. As for pedestrians, there's a reason why so many of the crosswalks are bridges high above the traffic. If ever you have to compete for space with the cars, just know you're playing a live-at-five game of Frogger.

As for speed bumps, the damned things are mini-mountains that will rip the crap out of the bottom of your car if you go more than two miles an hour-a safety precaution that is absolutely necessary, because no self-respecting ton of metal rolling around on the road will even brake for a human otherwise.

That's right, no guts, no road survival!

If you move to a large Metroplex in Mexico, be ready to fight for your right to circulate. And if you're planning on being a straight up pedestrian... make sure you have a ton of health insurance and settle your affairs before moving.